A recap of recent events

Hey it's Maya... I guess for the short and or long term.. I'll be maintaining Paul's blog....

It's been almost two days since Ryan attacked us, the bastard.... I figured I should get my take on what happened...

Ryan had showed up and while I missed some of the conversation, he pretty much gave Paul an ultimatum... either he could stand with them, or die with us.....

Fucking bastard... in Paul's defense he told Ryan to "Go fuck himself"... I knew I loved him for a reason. Paul demanded answers, that he wanted the truth....

Yeah Ryan told him alright, he told Paul that his family was never real, that he was part of a "Special" project, to see if they could get a particularly strong willed runner to jump sides if they altered his memories... it had almost worked considering he fought Antonio several times and almost killed me in our own apartment.

Paul and I.... the night before.... God damnit Paul why did you have to try and play the hero!

Ryan orders the attack, Paul empties the clip to his hand gun and takes down two proxes before there numbers drove us into the building.... the fighting was floor by floor, Apartment by apartment.... I just barely saved Antonio after one proxy had taken a sledge hammer to his leg, Antonio before then had dropped a few of his buddies I suppose....

I was... Maybe 20 minutes before the rest of them were thrashed of had just plain bailed out of the attack... the few times I saw Paul during that time it was usually finishing off a Proxy that he had in some way been engaged by.... The last time... just before I was captured by Ryan... he had a nasty gash in his right side, and a bloodied nose... his clothes were torn... he was badly beaten by one of them before Paul shot him he told me....

I don't know what happened after that... Paul got Antonio to an emergency exit and antonio made it to a car and escaped to the location Manic met us... well he would have if Manic didn't decide to get premptive and arrive taking out a few proxies outside of the building.

Ryan got me a bit after that, knocked me out briefly...

I woke up on the roof a bit later... Paul was standing there.... looking like the hero I know him to be... hurt.. bloodied... but determined... I don't know what was said before  they started fighting... but I was there to watch there fight...

Ryan... he's not like Antonio at all... Antonio uses his power as a proxy like a tool... he has a lot of finesse about him, and his heart doesn't let him abuse that power because he knows where it came from...

Ryan uses that same power like a club.... a weapon only...  I was blacking in an out of the fight for the most part... I saw Paul get tossed like a rag doll just blocking a shot, I saw Paul clobber ryan with his Bokken looking like he shattered one of Ryan's arms in the process... I saw....

I saw Paul scream in pain as Ryan gouged one of Paul's eyes with his thumb... then I saw the bastard bleed when Paul stabbed Ryan between the ribs with a switchblade afterwards....

The fight ended after that... Paul was bleeding bad from his left eye... and If I was able to clear my head from... what ever the hell Ryan did.. I might have noticed his broken ribs...

I guess none of that matters not.. we know the rest of the story... Manic got me out of there... and then Slenderman showed up...

It's funny you know... up to that point none of us had ever encountered it... I wonder if we only did now because a number of his minions died... or... I don't know....

We'll get him back, Manic and Antonio are bouncing idea's off each other as to how to find him... we figure he has to be alive.. otherwise the Slenderman would not have taken him...

But if we get him back... will he still be him?

One last time

Last time for what I'm not sure...

Antonio is down with a broken leg... I got him to his car and I'm sending him Manic's way to get patched up and evac'd....

But Ryan is on the roof, holding Maya hostage....

He told me I have ten minutes to meet him up there or he will kill her...

I've known Ryan for 11 years... or I thought I did... turns out he was the proxy after all....

None of my memories are real, my family.... my wife and son, are not real....

Now I'm going to go upstairs to what will likely be my death... I'm going to fight and attempt to kill the man who placed there memories in my head...

Ryan... I will kill you even if I die in the process.

FYI Shit happened

Pretty much the title here...

We were attacked by proxies tonight, didn't seem related to the going on's around here, I think we were just on there way, there were 5 of them, they didn't seem to tough, I mean not compared to Hoody....

Hoody was there, and I never thought I'd say this but thank god for that, I mean holy shit, I just home early from work, and there outside of the fucking building.

One of them flat out said "Nothing personal" before the five of them charged...

I had my Bokken in the trunk again so I took one down with an, I freely admit, cheep shot to the side of his knee cap, probably broke his leg, but he was out of the fight.

Maya was still in the car, looking for anything to help me out with, I was more or less fucked, there were still 4 of them, and one of them charged me with what, and no shit, this happened, a mother fucking battle axe!

Seriously, where the fuck did someone get one of those!

So there I was, about to get my head split, when Hoody fucking slender walked to the right of the guy and cold cocks the guy with a telekinetic punch that, I'm pretty sure must of killed the guy... there was way to much blood.

So there we were, 3 on three, Maya was out of the car at this point with one of my largish knives that I hide behind the passenger seat...

They charged, I ducked the one who tried to clip me with a pipe wrench, gut shot him with the hilt of my Bokken, and was about to finish him when I got hit in the head with a rock, leaving me open enough for the Proxy to give me a good elbow in the face.

Maya told me later she took the rock tosser out by stabbing him in the shoulder with her knife, and then shocking him with a Taser she keeps in her purse, Self defense of course, so she won her fight first.

Mean while, Hoody managed to get himself in deep with some kung-fu asshole who was actually keeping Hoody tied up, Hoody was of course I later found out, holding back so we could beat them, saying "If I went all out they would have just ran, and who ever they were going for probably wouldn't of made it"

So me an pipe wrench guy was still going at it, he had me flat footed, he was just about to clock me in the skull with that wrench, would have been lethal at that angle and force, I managed to throw my  Bokken up and caught him in the wrist, the combined force on his fragile wrist actually might have broken it because all I hear was a scream and him drop the wrench...

I wasn't thinking that at the time, I just pushed him back to get some swinging range, and swung high, I caught him just below the ear, probably shattered his jaw, but I didn't kill him, and he was out like a light...

And just like that, he hit the floor, and the lot of them vanished the way that Hoody did when I beat him, Hoody walked over to us, I'm bleeding from my nose, Maya walks over cleaning the blood off the knife before giving it back to me, I tell her keep it, it's her's now..

She smiles, I smile back.......

Hoody tells us all that they didn't have the strength to Slender-walk out like that... That their boss pulled them out...

This was round one... I know that it's only going to get worse from here, Tacoma has not been "won" by either side... there will be other proxy band's... and there's one more thing...

Ryan's e-mail..... He's coming back to Tacoma....

We have about 15 days before he comes back....

And he *Is* bringing an army with him......

I made the decision, I sat down and let Maya read the blog, she needs to know this is happening, because she could be killed by this..... She doesn't know Ryan she say's.....

So now I have,  till 4/25/12 to find my answers... Or we might just all die.....

Memory

So here's Maya's story about how we met, as I promised... It really... sounds nice you know?

She tells me about the day we met... We had met in a Diner, just like I had posted previously, that she was working at the time, she was living at home with family, and I was still at a point where I struggling to make due here in Tacoma, living check by check, living off  noodles and the like. so far this matches up.

It had been apparently one of those rare cases I could afford to go out to eat, and it was apparently breakfast, at the time I worked Graveyard for a steel factory, and frankly, the pay sucked at the time, so I had just scraped enough together to enjoy a proper breakfast, and there she was, talking about some concert she was saving up for, that she was probably not going to because of some dick she was dating at the time had been caught with, what she politely called "a former friend"

I remember that time well, the band was AC/DC... this would have place this day around December 2008, I was probably still wearing around that torn up dark grey coat, because I couldn't afford one, I can see my self as, well wearing aged clothed, faded pants, probably sporting a five o'clock shadow since I didn't shave daily back then, probably had some bags under my eyes since I was just off work, didn't work the next day, so I'd stay up and get some running around town, by bus of course, I couldn't afford the car yet, likely paying bills, and what have you.

I actually called bullshit as to what happened next, I remember myself being the listening type, not the speak up and butt into a conversation type.

I had reportedly said, sipping on coffee "Then why don't you take someone else, I mean you want to go to the concert right? Is the person going with you really going to make the concert that much better?"

Maya chuckles and said she must of had the biggest "what the fuck" face ever but she smiled "Oh and your bum ass would know about a getting cheated on?"

I laughed, probably sleep deprived "Oh you poor girl, if I look homeless to you then I really do need to go shopping for some new clothes" I must of been a riot at this point.

Now this next part sounds like me, "Okay kiddo, I know that you haven't joined the real world yet, if the best complaint you can come up with is 'oh no, I don't have a date to the concert this weekend', then you got it pretty easy. I work 44 hours a week at a steel factory, because my college grant didn't come through, so I can't even afford to move back home. This humble breakfast I'm finishing up probably took about 3 weeks to save up for. But hey, not being able to go see the Jonas Brothers because your boy toy was sucking face was 'Mary Rotten-crotch' is pretty serious though."

I'd feel pretty smug from just dressing a girl like that down, but then she asked me, in what I'm sure was in a way that would have blown my fucking mind at that point "Alright then, what are you doing this weekend?"

I blinked then asked "Why do you want to know?"

She had apparently then smirked this cute little smirk and asked "Because I'd bet your the type who'd like AC/DC"

Well of course at this point, I'm told it would have been rude to say no, I gave her the number to the shitty camera-less ten key to low tech for a color screen, cellphone I was using, she gives me the number for the clam-shell styled full qwerty keyboarded dual screened phone that was considered top of the line at the time. and I tell her "I'll let you know when I wake up, I'm going home and going to bed till later on today"




I'll pick her story up to that weekend another time, but I want to post some of my own memories to the blog in a day or so... About how I met my wife.

Truth

Maya Had apparently lied about contacting Hoody while I was in Levenworth....

She somehow thought this was a good thing, that I wouldn't freak the unholy fuck out about this at all.

She got lucky....

Lucky I don't care the god damn gun around the house or I would probably have to explain why I shot a got damn teenager who showed up at random at my door, completely unarmed and wearing a hoody...

Well my last name is not Zimmerman so I don't think I would have gotten away with it, hey I just wanted you all to know I was thinking of the unfortunate implications of what I'm typing.

So anyways, I learned they were in contact, while Maya was forcing me to watch damn near clockwork orange style some bubbly anime about Japanese girls in high school.

Then again she introduced me to some show called Berserk, so yeah it's not a complete loss.

Anyways, back on topic, she actually invited Hoody, without telling me, while you know, I'm still... What's the word.... Oh yeah, FUCKING PARANOID, about the idea that I potentially false memories of a missing family, and the guy I suspected was the cause, showed up at my door..

So I of course opened the door, saw him there, whipped a switch blade out, and took a pose that screamed "Fucking bring it"...

It really does occur to me, that I have way to many god damn weapons around my apartment, I mean I've had most of these from before it hit the fan around here.

His rebuttal was to hold up a bag containing a 6 pack of root-beer and ice-cream, and a copy of the Wii game Dokapon Kingdom..

I swear to god if If this had happened yesterday, none of you would have believed me.

So I put the knife up, I mean if he brought video games and the ingredients to Root beer floats, then hell I'd had better let him in.

I mean the whole thing was a bit awkward, Hoody was... well quiet... Maya was gloating in the fact she had been kicking my ass, it wasn't until the second float of the night for me, and the third time Maya had shaved my avatar's head and renamed my character "COCKMONGER" (I'm not making this up, the girl anit right) did we actually start talking.

Antonio came out and said that he wasn't the one behind what happened to my family, but he knew who was, but he didn't want to tell me who it was, something about me "Not being ready" and was unsure if I knew this second proxy or not.

I polity let him know that I only knew one Proxy, and he just jacked another one of my towns, and that I would get that fucker back once I unlocked my demon form thing (I'm still not making this up, this game is awesome)


At the end of the night, Hoody had left, leaving Maya and I alone. You know while he was in my place he had his hood off, and only put it back on once he left, he had the Tattoo like Maya and I do.

 I asked Maya in the calmest most understanding tone this question can come off as "Maya seriously what the fuck?"

She had replied simply "What did you want me to do? Hide the fact I was in contact with him? Especially when he's the closest thing we have to someone on the inside? We need help if were going to find out what erased your memories."

Frustrated slightly I stated "How do we know it was my memories that were altered? It could have been yours that were altered for all we know"

Maya stepped into my personal space "What do you remember Paul, tell me" She put her hands in mine and looks into my eyes "Please..."

I'm some-watt pissed off at myself for what happened next... I gave into this to easily... if she's the second proxy... then I was playing right into her plan...

"I... remember... a Wife.... and a Son.... Everything was different" I cringe when I realize I had let it slip. but at the same time it was a relief to let my self admit that I remember my family, even if I'm the only ones on earth to remember this

Maya to her credit, well she really is amazing, rather than freak out or overreact that I kept this back from her, sat me down on the credits, and holding my hands in front of me as she sat on the floor in front of me, just asked me "Tell me about them Paul..."

I tell her everything, she way her hair would always be in front of her face in the morning, the way my son would saw "I You" because he couldn't figure out how to say "I love you".

I tell her about the wedding, the church it was in, I tell her about the day my son was born, how I carried him all the way to the nursery ward, I tell him how I melted the first time he opened his eyes and looked at me, the cute mewing noise he made, the fact that he snored by the time he was 2.... or the fact that he was barely 6 lbs at birth, and would eat about 3 ounces of formula at a time.

I tell her about my first date with my wife, the first time we met in college, the moment we realized we were in love, the first time we broke up, for all of 6 hours before we were back together, apologizing for it all. I remember the look on her face when I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her.

Maya just sat there and smiles stroking my hand, not upset, but understanding... if she's telling the truth, then she... we probably had to go through this once before with Hoody...

When I'm done unleashing these bottled up memories, she smiles and hugs me, she says she understands now why I haven't wanted to tell her this. She tells me it's going to be painful sorting out what was real, and what was fiction, but I had helped her sort it all out for Antonio, and she would help me sort it all out.

For a second, I wanted to push her back and scream that it was real... but I didn't.... I asked her to tell me about us, our relationship... for the first time I allowed my self to open to the possibility, that my memories are fake.. I really do blame you for this Manic.. but I sit there, hugging her and listening.

I'll post her story, about the day we met later on after I go crash for about 10 hours.

Monster

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Okay lets get this fucking over with....

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So Maya had just had me sit back down.. I'm still bleeding... and I just tried to murder her....

Let me make myself clear, Hoody, deserved what happened to him, the fucking bastard wrecked my life, and god knows how many others before, he's a blatant proxy's displaying  powerful slender-skills, and yeah...

Maya hasn't done shit against me, except be a "friend" of Hoody... and I almost killed her for that...

She came back into the room from the bathroom with some more Gauss and some rubbing Alcohol... She looks at me slightly shaking like I'm going to strike at her again...

That just makes me feel worse....

"You don't have to help me anymore.... you already know that I'm on to the two of you" I say with a bit of bile...

Maya just sits down "Paul... I don't know what the hell your talking about, just sit down and shut up so I can get the bleeding to stop."

I didn't deserve this...... We sat silent while she worked on Re-wrapping my head, the rubbing alcohol burned like a son of  a bitch...

"How do you know him...." I asked while she worked.

"How do you not Paul.... I can understand forgetting little things, but I don't understand how you forgot about Antonio"

So that's the Proxy's real name... "There's allot of things I don't know"

"I can see that... Paul.... when did the memory loss start?"

I look at her "My memory is fine thank you, it's the rest of the god damn world that's wrong!"

With sad eyes she asks a question that I didn't want to answer "Do you remember me at all?"

I look at the table, at my wrecked hand... "No.... I remember.... something else... I'm not ready to tell you what I do remember."

She stands up and walks to the fridge, there's a blankness in her face I can't quite place, she grabs a couple beers for us, I get the impression she's going to push for details.

She sits back down, not looking me in the eyes... "I figured as much to be honest, when you bought the fake story about our tattoo's"

I struggle to pop the top off my beer, she had to pop it for me.

I look at her... "What's the real story?...."

She looks at me... she struggles with the question, I'm getting answers, but to all the wrong questions.

"This is not the first time one of us lost our memory Paul, Antonio is... Well he is what you called a 'Proxy'... But he used to be... with me... before I met you."

I hide my shock at this... shit I knew she knows allot about Him, but to hear her speak openly of it is... dubious.

"He was kidnapped... years ago... were were still kids... I didn't see him till about 8 months ago, he was different, he was traumatized, he had... He had strange abilities.... you helped me Paul, helped me pull him back together, you might not know this, but he has the same tattoo as us"

"Maya he might have killed people... I mean my-"

I cut myself off, She wouldn't remember my family, she wouldn't remember my friends... how could she, the rest of the world doesn't....

At this point she gets up walks over to me, I'm still sitting..... my guard is down, I'm so very tired at this point. I can faintly see the marks of my fingers on her neck still...

"I don't know what you remember Paul, what they made you remember instead of Antonio and I, but were real god dammit!"

On that note... She slaps me... Hard... I deserved it....
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Then she hugs me.... Crying.... I hug her back, the bastard that I am, still comforting her....
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Maya will be her in a few moments, she doesn't know about the blog, I plan on keeping it that way... I'm not sure what's real anymore... There's no way my family was fake...  but Maya is real, and were on the same side now....

I tried to kill her, might have killed Hoody/Antonio....  But if she's right, someone else is pulling the strings here... and we plan on finding out who....

Hallowed

Shit I can't believe I'm actually going to post this shit... well I made a promise...

Manic has been kidnapped, Ryan shot my an email, and...

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And I came damn close to murdering Maya last night...

If anyone read last nights post (funny how my only victory so far got like.. no god damn comments) then you already knew I was waiting for her.. I must of been a hell of a sight, splattered in my own blood, and some of Hoody's,  wearing bandages on my head and hands. Wearing an unfamiliar face to hear...

A face contorted by hate...

She dropped her purse and started right for me, I didn't realize it at the time, but she was genuinely concerned, she had no idea that I just kicked the shit out of her partner...

She got half way to me, when I got up and met her half way....

I had this.. well mental image last night of how it would go down, I'd be all smug and throw down something manly like "So I just beat the shit out of your partner, your move"

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Didn't play out like that... I got up, dashed at her, probably still was hoped up on adrenaline, got her by the throat and shoved her into a wall...

I got easily a foot on her, and I weigh about 100lbs more than her, she couldn't fight back... yeah this is the part I'm not pleased with my self for...

The first thing I screamed at her is pretty simple... "I just beat the shit out of your proxy friend, and your going to give me some FUCKING ANSWERS!!"

I think it scared the shit out of her, she could form a coherent sentence, just stammering like "Paul... what... I... What?"

She wasn't crying, she was took scared shitless to cry, scared of me...

Christ did I really do this, I mean this isn't me, I don't hurt women, I know better, at what point yesterday, hell in the last several days, did I stop seeing her as a person, and more as a puppet..

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL WHAT THE FUCK I WANT TO KNOW!"

"Paul.. I don't know what your talking about!" She had replied in a genuine tone...

I pulled back, and slammed her back into the wall, the rage, the anger I had pent up, I was doing this all with one arm, my right arm was still a bandaged and to sore to use at that point. God, I really kept this pent up....

"DON'T FUCKING LIE!" I screamed. "I Saw you with the fucking proxy when we stopped for food, I saw you with the fucker! The same bastard who attacked me before! YOU FUCKING KNOW HIM!"

For some reason... I held back from outright asking what I wanted to know, "Where is my family"

I didn't realize it at this point, but I think I was crying.... my hand was shaking... I wanted answers, I wanted them back.... And I had the key to getting them back, by the throat....

The realization that I was about to kill her snapped me back, my grip loosened... she gasped for air... god damn it, I was strangling her.... I just stood there, all the strength leaving my limb...

But the illusion was broken, we both knew now that things were not right with us. Not right with me....

To her credit, she didn't run, didn't strike back, didn't even cry.... The moved my arm....just looked at me and said simply...

"You did a pretty bad job at bandaging this up Paul" touching the area over my eye, where I was still slowly bleeding.. "Go sit down, I'll get the Gauss, then we can talk...."

Part two will come later on today... My hand hurts, I need a break...

Bloody

So I had a hell of a day, sorry I don't want to type a long post out, I'm typing this all one handed as I think I had to bandage up my hands tonight, but my left hand hurts worse....

So lets cut to the chase then, last night.... well it went pretty well considering I was *not* sleeping next to, at best case scenario, the ally of my local proxy. I had just quietly slipped my gun into a gap between the bed and the nightstand, when I heard her whisper "You won't need it, I'll protect you" in a half tired voice before wrapping her arms around me and going back to sleep....

See it's that type of shit, that raises doubts... if I could trust her... That would have been fantastically romantic...


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Sorry I was just getting some pain medicine and I just finished gaussing up a small cut over my eye I didn't notice before.. till it got in my eye, that shit hurts.....
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So why am I in such a great mood? Because I kicked kicked slenderloving shit out of hoody in a fight...

I had just got home, and he was waiting for me, said he wanted to talk to me again, and I did this time what I should have done the last time....

I walked right up to him and clocked him in the face with a "Novelty paperweight" that just happens to look like some brass knuckles... I even let out a overly upbeat "Surprise BITCH!" when I clocked him with it.

Yeah he countered that one quick, using his slender-skills to punch me back about 6 feet, but I parried it so I wasn't laid out like the last time....

I lost grip on my brass knuckles so the fight was in favor at this point, but I remembered something that I had forgot the last time we fought...

I knew Akido...

For the uninitiated, Akido focus's on the philosophy of defensive fighting, making them waste there energy attacking, and turning there own force against him, he threw a  punch, I used the force of his punch to shoulder flip him and kick him in the back to throw his balance off.

Akido does not teach you how to counter teleportation, or kinetic attacks. but I held my own, left him bloodied pretty bad, till he tossed me hard enough that I landed near my car, a good ten feet... then I played my ace card.

I popped the trunk and broke out my Bokken, want to know something funny, Sure I believe in alien's, ghosts, and Slenderman, but I never bought into the mystical shit, not even when I had a native American charm affixed to my bokken, that helped...

Hoody didn't see it coming when I "blocked" one of Kinetic attacks with my bokken and countered with a diagonal swing down on his head that would make a master proud... I connected, there was blood splattering...

Hoody dissolved into smoke and was gone... but the blood on my bokken was still there... as well as the blood on the ground, and the bruises on my body.

So I finally got one for the win column, It's not decisive, or even long term, but I let him know, let all the proxies out there know one single thing...

I *will* not be fucked with any longer.

In about ten minutes, Maya will be here, I'm going to see if I can't go 2 for 2 against proxies tonight, even if this fight is going to be with words.

Maya and Hoody

So as I commented on my own post earlier, I took Maya out into the mountians for a day hike...we both needed it after what happened a few days ago, Maya, at least on the surface, was showing some serious signs of Trauma from the murders....

My only thought of it was "Is anyone going to remember them in a week?"

The police interviewed us, to see if we had heard anything at all, clearly we had not, I mean a family of three doesn't get.... Butchered... Just across the hall without you hearing something.... the whole thing wasn't natural.

Gods I almost came clean to her about the whole god damn thing, my family, slenderman, Ryan, Hoody, the whole god damn thing... But if she's not a proxy, and i'm now questioning that more than ever... then it would have been to much for her...

I mean shit, I got the third degree over a few things lately "Why are you hiding weapons in your apartment?", "When did you get a gun?" and my favorite "Why are you always looking around like your keeping an eye out for someone?"

This is of course why I needed to go for a long, relaxing nature hike today.... put as Elaine would put it all this "Slendershit" out of my damn head for a day to decompress.

It didn't work....

While I was on the way back, we stopped at a mom and pop dinner half way between Rainer and Tacoma, I forgot the name of the place already... the day was still clear at that point so we were going to eat outside... I was just getting back from a bathroom trip and picking up our order, when I noticed something.... frankly disturbing on my way out....

Hoody.... and Maya.... talking near my car...

Okay just the simple fact that Hoody had  traveled all the way out, a good 45 minutes outside of Tacoma to talk to Maya, well that was disturbing enough, but this just proved what Ryan said correct... Maya and Hoody are definitely working together, two pea's in the proxy pod!

Rather than walk out there and call them on this right away, I mean I was unarmed, I didn't even have a box-cutter on me, let alone the type of gear needed to fight Hoody and expect to win, and lord knows what kind of skills Maya is packing there... No I stayed out of sight until hoody hopped on a motorcycle and rode off...

At least I know he doesn't just fucking teleport everywhere...

I counted to about 43 and stepped back out, lunch in hand a with a smile on my face, we sat down and ate...

She didn't bring the conversation up at all, not even in the "Oh a friend of my was in the area you just missed him" sort of way...

She's sleeping in my room right now... I plan on stashing the gun in my nightstand but i'm waiting till I know she's out cold... she could have killed the neighbors for all I know at this point...

I know allot of you are saying that not all proxy's are bad, but hoody and I don't see eye to eye, and Maya is working with him... the worst part of it is, was before this I was really starting to like having her around...

I won't be taken flat-footed... I promise you all that.

So much blood.....

I'm going to make this brief, I'm trying to care Maya while I type this on my phone....

The people across the hall are dead, I don't know how.. but there was blood.... leaking.... out of the door into the hall, we can't actually leave the apartment due all of it...

I heard reference to "trash bags"... Maya is fitfully passed out on my shoulder... and I have my gun loaded in my other hand...

It's going to be a long night.

Wide awake!

Okay I told Manic I would ask about this, but I had no idea how to broach the subject...

"What's the story with our tattoo's"

Now Operator symbols could go one way or another, they could either serve as wards, like an eye on the back of your, in our case, neck, or it could mean anything really....

Maya, was of course, confused why I was asking, like it was a pretty serious offense. I hand waived it away as my memory being seven shades of fucked up ... Actually that's the gods honest truth.

Apparently we both got them a year or so ago, she admits to be fuzzy on the significance of the tattoo's  but.... Well apparently Maya was attacked a year and some months ago, she was beaten pretty bad, and someone thought it would be cute to slice an X in her neck... looking at the tattoo on her neck I can almost see the scar the tattoo covers up...

So well yeah, according to her, that's why she has the tattoo, seems innocent enough right? Apparently I got the tattoo afterwards as some kind of romantic sign of solidarity, getting ink'd together or something...

It doesn't hold water, I've always been against getting tattoo's. Also what the tattoo represents? Hell at best case scenario it means that we "just happened" to get Operator symbol's inked onto ourselves willingly, and that she was cut up by a proxy at some point, worst case scenario, she's lying to me about the reason's.....

Of course she was pissed at me for even bringing this up, I had to think fast I rattled off a line about "I just wanted to make sure I never forgot why" and then gave her a hug.

On a slightly lighter note, this is how I started my morning, I had apparently failed to set my alarm clock, so I started my day with a hand on my back and a whisper in my hear telling me to get up, which woke me up... Screaming.... Like a little girl.....

At least I know now that she has a key to my apartment....

I my organs were not harvested and put in trash bags.

Just wanted to get that out of the way before I go any further....

So before I get into how the last couple days went, I want to address a few things about a couple of the other blogs I keep abreast on....

Manic Muse has been a good friend and a source of advise, lately another has been running the blog however, and based on his last post, he might be regaining control, at least for now, lets all hope he stays strong, we don't need to lose anyone else.

Gargoyle on the other hand, is just crazy awesome, I don't know about you, but I actually laughed.. I mean downright belly laughed for the first time in weeks at his "Pony experiments". Just the mere idea of the goddamn Slenderman being a "Bronie" is just got damn hilarious to me, and really cuts into the lurking dread I have of him.

Then there's Elaine, she hasn't posted anything in a while, but perspective, what with my entire personal reality being wiped clean and being replaced with something alien to me, yet completely understandable... well I can kinda see where a couple blog posts ago, how I kinda overreacted to the flow of her blog, yes she made.... To put this nicely... Questionable choices in allegiances, that got people killed. But... she didn't do it intentionally...

That being said, I don't trust her, I don't have reason to trust proxies in general, not that I'm saying she's a proxy, and she, last time I checked. still associated with the man that in her own words on one comment, "Broke the agreement" they had over Hope. At best is seems dangerously naive, but at worst, it could be seen as collusion with they very servants of the thing that would see her killed.

I understand the underlying message she's trying to get across, Proxies, are in fact human too, That's great, American and British soldiers during the Second World War understood the Germans were people too, but when other people are activity serving something trying to kill, manipulate, mislead, or our right destroy you, seeing them as people is only going to get in the way of you having to defend yourself....

This is why when I had my dealing with Hoody a few days ago, of which I didn't touch on much through the rage, I did so at weapon point. It's understandable if you think about it.

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Which reminds me, yeah I should explain that chat with hoody.. Lets see now.... Right March 13th... Hoody was outside of the building.... I went out there to kick his ass, and well.... He stopped me, and said, that he had a warning for me, I was of course pissed, ready to have at it with him, tear him down... but he just wanted to talk.... I forced myself to listen... Information is power right now, and I was definitely lacking in information....

"Paul I just came to warn you, change is coming, a larger change than you could ever understand now, but you will when it happens, you have to adapt to the change, or you will be destroyed by it"

I reacted harshly to this... saying "Fuck you proxy, if you really give a shit about me, then you'll give my family back, I haven't forgotten that you, or at least what you serve took them from me to begin with. You also  invaded my life, drove friends away, and fucking murdered several good friends of mine!"

His only response, well before mind tricking me for just long enough to get away, was to say "Those deaths were not mine, the other did it...."

That wasn't some cryptic bullshit that most Proxies perform on people to get them off there game, he flat out stated there was a second proxy.... and Ryan stated that a certain blonde girl, who is likely Maya, Likely is that second Proxy....

And whatever reality warp that had occurred, placed me in a committed relationship, which of course I don't fucking remember, with her.....

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Okay so about Maya, I commented as an afterthought that a couple nights ago, I had been "Reminded" of a date with her... I gathered some information about her while on said "date", I gathered in this altered reality that I had met her about two months later than I remember meeting my wife, at the same diner, that I had met my wife for the first time, I wasn't big on home cooked meals then... So in this altered reality, I didn't meet my wife, because she didn't exist, god I can't wrap my head around that still, instead I figured I went home alone that night, probably early, but kept going there, no shocker, and met Maya. She was apparently working there at the time, as a new waitress, trying to pay her way to whatever music shows she wanted to see at the time, not a care in the world...

Apparently that's what had cause me to become attracted to her. I seriously don't remember any of this keep this in mind, it feels weird to write about myself like a fiction author. I remember at the time I was struggling to make ends meet, I was supporting two jobs to maintain an apartment, I didn't have the Medical billing Job I have now, so I was struggling badly to keep my head above water, while this young woman, 8 years younger than me, was working to be able to do what she thought was fun, working for her fun.

By the way, allot of this is elaboration, talking to Maya on the date a couple nights ago, and actually slipping questions to friends of mine, who also, remember things as they are now... God, they really covered all there basis.

Okay so... sorry I'm kinda all over the place here,  but a bit of back story was needed here. So the date,  went oddly well, just dinner, I guess were talking about moving in together in this timeline... which, if she really is the one who killed those coworkers of mine, then well, that might be a terrible idea. God help me though, if she is the second proxy than she's a damn convincing one, she acted in such a casual and affectionate way, that it actually made me drop my guard with her.

When she asked if I was alright, despite my best efforts I must of been acting odd to her, I didn't get the impression that she was probing me for information, I got the impression that she asked out of a genuine concern for my well being. For the record we didn't "Do" anything, god that would have been holy shit difficult for me right now, after dinner was basically my place for a couple movies and beers.

So I'm adapting, I need answers, right now I live in a world I don't remember, dating a 22 year old, who I don't remember, who also may be directly responsible for killing a bare minimum of 7 other people, who she may or may not remember....

Also that tattoo on my neck, the Operator sign, the one that matches her's, I remember the implication, I've been likely marked by a proxy... but she has the same tattoo.... she may be marked as well.... Or she's the one who marked me.

To many questions, not enough answers....

Changing pt 2

Okay so I'm now sober... well hungover... and allot calmer.

I didn't react well to what I learned yesterday... I apologize for dumping on the blog my grief... I try to avoid it really...

But yesterday just hit all at once, all the bottled up pain I've been stewing in the last week since my wife disappeared... all the rage that I had stored since this all started.....

There has been more changes.... I logged on to Facebook to see that all my family pictures are gone... my cellphone no longer has contact numbers from several people that I knew through my wife....

Apparently the change had affected other people... there's.... well apparently I'm dating someone...

Seriously that's not even kinda awkward... but I'm looking at pictures of the person on my Facebook right now... Some are replacing my wife and son in certain events of the last couple years... Some portray events I don't remember...she's, well according to Facebook, about 22, maybe, god I want to say about a head and a half shorter than me, blonde hair I wants to say.... Name... Maya.....

Okay hoody told me to adapt or die... so how the hell do I adapt to this one?

There's one more thing.... On some of the more recent pictures... she has an operator sign tattooed on her neck.... Just like the second proxy Ryan warned me about....

Also.... Now I have the same tattoo.......