I my organs were not harvested and put in trash bags.

Just wanted to get that out of the way before I go any further....

So before I get into how the last couple days went, I want to address a few things about a couple of the other blogs I keep abreast on....

Manic Muse has been a good friend and a source of advise, lately another has been running the blog however, and based on his last post, he might be regaining control, at least for now, lets all hope he stays strong, we don't need to lose anyone else.

Gargoyle on the other hand, is just crazy awesome, I don't know about you, but I actually laughed.. I mean downright belly laughed for the first time in weeks at his "Pony experiments". Just the mere idea of the goddamn Slenderman being a "Bronie" is just got damn hilarious to me, and really cuts into the lurking dread I have of him.

Then there's Elaine, she hasn't posted anything in a while, but perspective, what with my entire personal reality being wiped clean and being replaced with something alien to me, yet completely understandable... well I can kinda see where a couple blog posts ago, how I kinda overreacted to the flow of her blog, yes she made.... To put this nicely... Questionable choices in allegiances, that got people killed. But... she didn't do it intentionally...

That being said, I don't trust her, I don't have reason to trust proxies in general, not that I'm saying she's a proxy, and she, last time I checked. still associated with the man that in her own words on one comment, "Broke the agreement" they had over Hope. At best is seems dangerously naive, but at worst, it could be seen as collusion with they very servants of the thing that would see her killed.

I understand the underlying message she's trying to get across, Proxies, are in fact human too, That's great, American and British soldiers during the Second World War understood the Germans were people too, but when other people are activity serving something trying to kill, manipulate, mislead, or our right destroy you, seeing them as people is only going to get in the way of you having to defend yourself....

This is why when I had my dealing with Hoody a few days ago, of which I didn't touch on much through the rage, I did so at weapon point. It's understandable if you think about it.

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Which reminds me, yeah I should explain that chat with hoody.. Lets see now.... Right March 13th... Hoody was outside of the building.... I went out there to kick his ass, and well.... He stopped me, and said, that he had a warning for me, I was of course pissed, ready to have at it with him, tear him down... but he just wanted to talk.... I forced myself to listen... Information is power right now, and I was definitely lacking in information....

"Paul I just came to warn you, change is coming, a larger change than you could ever understand now, but you will when it happens, you have to adapt to the change, or you will be destroyed by it"

I reacted harshly to this... saying "Fuck you proxy, if you really give a shit about me, then you'll give my family back, I haven't forgotten that you, or at least what you serve took them from me to begin with. You also  invaded my life, drove friends away, and fucking murdered several good friends of mine!"

His only response, well before mind tricking me for just long enough to get away, was to say "Those deaths were not mine, the other did it...."

That wasn't some cryptic bullshit that most Proxies perform on people to get them off there game, he flat out stated there was a second proxy.... and Ryan stated that a certain blonde girl, who is likely Maya, Likely is that second Proxy....

And whatever reality warp that had occurred, placed me in a committed relationship, which of course I don't fucking remember, with her.....

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Okay so about Maya, I commented as an afterthought that a couple nights ago, I had been "Reminded" of a date with her... I gathered some information about her while on said "date", I gathered in this altered reality that I had met her about two months later than I remember meeting my wife, at the same diner, that I had met my wife for the first time, I wasn't big on home cooked meals then... So in this altered reality, I didn't meet my wife, because she didn't exist, god I can't wrap my head around that still, instead I figured I went home alone that night, probably early, but kept going there, no shocker, and met Maya. She was apparently working there at the time, as a new waitress, trying to pay her way to whatever music shows she wanted to see at the time, not a care in the world...

Apparently that's what had cause me to become attracted to her. I seriously don't remember any of this keep this in mind, it feels weird to write about myself like a fiction author. I remember at the time I was struggling to make ends meet, I was supporting two jobs to maintain an apartment, I didn't have the Medical billing Job I have now, so I was struggling badly to keep my head above water, while this young woman, 8 years younger than me, was working to be able to do what she thought was fun, working for her fun.

By the way, allot of this is elaboration, talking to Maya on the date a couple nights ago, and actually slipping questions to friends of mine, who also, remember things as they are now... God, they really covered all there basis.

Okay so... sorry I'm kinda all over the place here,  but a bit of back story was needed here. So the date,  went oddly well, just dinner, I guess were talking about moving in together in this timeline... which, if she really is the one who killed those coworkers of mine, then well, that might be a terrible idea. God help me though, if she is the second proxy than she's a damn convincing one, she acted in such a casual and affectionate way, that it actually made me drop my guard with her.

When she asked if I was alright, despite my best efforts I must of been acting odd to her, I didn't get the impression that she was probing me for information, I got the impression that she asked out of a genuine concern for my well being. For the record we didn't "Do" anything, god that would have been holy shit difficult for me right now, after dinner was basically my place for a couple movies and beers.

So I'm adapting, I need answers, right now I live in a world I don't remember, dating a 22 year old, who I don't remember, who also may be directly responsible for killing a bare minimum of 7 other people, who she may or may not remember....

Also that tattoo on my neck, the Operator sign, the one that matches her's, I remember the implication, I've been likely marked by a proxy... but she has the same tattoo.... she may be marked as well.... Or she's the one who marked me.

To many questions, not enough answers....